FawnBirth

I'm not active at all anymore here and DA feels like--a real shithole now. During the last few years I have notice the amount of trolls, imposters, renders, assholes, thieves, stalkers, creepers and etc increase, and it's sickening how DA doesn't give a rats ass about what's happening to its site at all :/
During the last... maybe 2 years? I have notice an increase of people leaving the site and it breaks my heart, because DA is one of the largest art sites.. but now it's just a dump for all the bad, while the good artist suffer.... I hate it so much how DA staff don't care about copyright or how they are so understaffed that they wont hire more people or HEY, yknow maybe get some volunteers to help rid DA of the bad on the site, I'm sure there are alot of people who would love to rid DA of all the assholes and thieves and such!
I can't stand being here anymore, the layout of the site bothers me now, it feels isolated and unless you are an outgoing, extrovert who is somewhat popular, then you might as well be a flower pot on the table in the furthest corner of a room.
I also don't like how if you are an artist who specializes in certain areas.. like adopts, then you'll most likely get attacked because "BAAAW YOU STOLE MY IDEA FOR CAT EARS OR PINK FLUFFY DRESSES", it's bloody ridiculous the amount of drama that arises from these artist who think they can claim and own and "idea" over an "object" colored this way or drawn that way!

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The only reason why I stayed so long was because I had a couple of watchers who have always been there for me and have been super supportive during my troubling/depressive times last year, I'm just so grateful to you guys, and I hate that I can't give you anything to look forward to in art :<
I have been super active on Tumblr and Facebook (but my Facebook is friends only), so I will link you my new tumblr.. which is just an update of my old one (which use to be fawnbirth) but I have taken a different approach to art lately and I changed my artist name to suit my new style, so I hope you guys can follow and I hope you guys will like it I'm sorry I won't be here anymore, but I might come around once ina while to check things, but if you want to reach/contact me, tumblr is the BEST way to do that, I'll also post my red-bubble, because I will be uploading art to sell on there from now on!

bunnique.tumblr.com/
www.redbubble.com/people/bunni…

I really love being on tumblr, even if I am a small artist, even if I get just a few notes, it feels really nice having that small personal space just for me and I don't get to see anything else but my personal space. I also like how things travel on the site, through re-blogging, I think its a neat little feature and I've found so many cool artist because of it, and I've also learned alot because of how things get reblogged on the site, I follow people who reblog and upload things that fall under my interests, and tumblr users have a LOT of control over what they want to see and how, tumblr staff doesn't force anything on their users and they certainly don't take features away so you have to pay for it, which is why I love tumblr, PLUS, if you ever run into trouble with another user like with art theft or harassment, tumblr staff actually take action and help their users out, which is a big reason why I love it here more then DA. Tumblr really is to me: Your home, your friends, interests, likes and and you get full control over customization (even though I am a noob at HTML/css coding lol).
If I think of anywhere else I post art I will link them too!

*EDIT*
Send me asks/mail on tumblr, so I know you are from DA, it would be great if my followers on DA can follow my tumblr, but I understand if some of you guys don't have tumblr though ;u;

Not sure how to start this off, but I'll just come out and say it as best as I can..
I haven't been as active as I would have liked on Deviantart and on Tumblr, I keep wanting to upload more art, but I can never seem to finish anything anymore... I start on something new and get halfway sometimes but then I just stop and never seem to find that passion to finish. This is all result from having depression for so long and having depression kill off alot of joy I used to have in doing things in life, not just art, I feel like I can barely get by anymore and I just have no interest in anything anymore v~v
I have been drawing here and there, and sometimes I do upload to Facebook or Tumblr but I'm just not active on DA like I used to be and I'm just not happy with how things are progressing so far with it... So, I was thinking, how would you guys feel if I put my stuff in storage? or put them into folders so that my main gallery page is empty and I can start a new? but, I was thinking of maybe making a new DA page, for art that is finished and for art that has a consistent style. I have been working hard on trying to narrow down my inconsistency with art so that my style(s) aren't all over the place
Not many of my watchers are active at all or anymore, but thats also probably because I am not active myself, and I never have new art for anyone to look forward too.. all this is just hurting my image as an artist.. I'm so sorry for never being active or posting art, it's still just a struggle for me to sleep at night (if insomnia isn't killing me, which it has been for a long while now and has gotten worse), it's still a struggle to wake up and most of the time a struggle to just draw and try and finish anything under just a few days top.

I'm really grateful to all the watchers who have stayed around, even at times when I needed to vent about my unhappiness in life, but I feel like I am just letting my DA go to waste and my passion for art, it can't be helped and I am trying to be more active in just drawing alone, but I feel like I am coming close to giving up and ... I know that's not something I want to happen.. just wish I could start over from the ground up and make things work out for the best, and I know it takes time to recover and to get/find joy again for things that used to bring me happiness, I just wish I could post more on DA and be active weekly or something that wont have my DA feeling like it's a dead place ><

For now, I am just in the process of getting a new job, so that at the moment is a top priority, but what do you guys think about me making a new DA to start fresh? I won't be deleting this DA and I might still post here (just not sure with what, since I've never had a subject matter that suits me). Do you guys want to see anything in particular or anything you guys think I could try with subject matter? ^^ I still want to try my hands at character design and I am having a bigger interest in fashion illustrations, so that I know I want to do also.

P.S.
>< Does anyone have any suggestions on how to naturally treat insomnia? I've always had it, since... 2008 and beyond and it has gotten worse over the last couple of weeks and month. I usually sleep at 12 or 1am, always wake up around 4am and then sleep back at 6 or 7am and finally wake up at 12pm T  T;; I've read some causes for insomnia and I know that stress, anxiety, depression, irregular sleep pattern and my environment are my top causes for my insomnia. A friend of mine suggest melatonin, but I read that melatonin doesn't really treat insomnia beyond a mild case and I think my case is beyond mild... hrrm. I should see a doctor? I've never had a doctor before, at least not one in my teens and adulthood (I've only had general doctors when I was a child and a gyno a few few times as an adult)... so, I am not really sure what type of doctor or specialist I should see :<

This year for me has had alot more downs then ups for me, depression, anxiety, having to tell my parents about my depression, dad being unsupportive, dropping school, losing alot of passion for art and just overall being in an environment that should be safe and happy for me, but just in the end messed up my health bad. Throughout the whole ordeal, I was surprised to see so many people who watch me on DA and on tumblr and from friends and my art teacher offer support, words of encouragement, stories about related issues and so much more!
For a long while, I felt like a burden to people, but I slowly started opening up more about my issues and just overall wanting to find ways to connect and talk with people and to cope with things, I admit I am not the greatest with replies haha, very slow with them and sometimes I get overwhelmed... but I wanted to thank everyone, every single person who has been there for me and helped me find ways to cope and stand up on my own two feet again!
I finally took steps to get counseling, a month ago I started and so far it has been going very good! I still have a long ways to go before I can get better, but as long as I don't let my will to get better go out, then... I know I CAN do it.

I hope you all are having a great, wonderful and safe new year!
I think I'll list what I hope to plan for my new years resolution :>
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1. Ease myself into doing more conceptual illustrations
2. study background art and perspective/angles
3. Do more character/object interactions
4. Do more lighting/value/color theory study
5. Do animal studies
6. Get down and serious about my art career, decide what I want to do most and work hard to achieve it
7. Think about what kind of audience my art/styles attract and market my business towards that
8. Socialize a little more/network more too
9. Upload more finished art, sketches and doodles
10. Ease into new and better health and art habits
11. Create a small exercise regime that I can stick too without quitting too early
12. Find a new and better art college too attend
13. Job hunt, do more commissions, and freelance
14. Become more assertive and stand up too any asshole who thinks they can walk over me
15. Continue getting counseling and recover from depression
16. Pick up a new inexpensive hobby, just in case I run into long running art blocks again
17. Make plans to visit friends out of state?
18. CREATE a small project I can stick to, to help me get my creative flow going!

I think that is it so far, will add more if I think of any later ♥

What are your new years resolutions? :>

tinypic.com/r/20uww9k/5
I just got this message and im freaking out a little.... has anyone else got it?? i am NOT clicking on it, just in case it turns out to be something phishing :/

*EDIT*
okay, its real @__@ fawnbirth
heidi.deviantart.com/journal/I…